Barbarian (2022)
Who invented the “a script has to have an exciting incident in the first six minutes” idea? Actually, I bet Michael Bay made it up, he has a shorter concentration span than me. Or Harvey Weinstein because if you don’t have an exciting event in six minutes he’ll…. Maybe I won’t make that joke. The walrus cunt.
Whoever it was, and as much as I think it is bullshit, the opening to your story should at least have more to it than a fucking Air BnB mix up starring two pretty bland characters.
Although I bitch and moan, that’s my personality and it isn’t always a signifier of much past proving I still breathe air, Barbarian feels relatively fresh despite carrying a lot of well trodden genre tropes. Stopover mix-up turns nightmare dive into what is initially an interesting little enclave.
Barbarian devolves from promising new idea to an abundance of horror film plot driving idiocy so fast I didn’t have time to write it down. Trying to be interesting, Barbarian touches up something of a tryptic story like Jeffrey Epstein at an arts graduation. Ah Amores Perros, that was a tryptic tale, I must watch that again. I’m not comparing Barbarian to Amores Perros, Amores Perros is good.
Bedsit it?
A brief flicker towards the end suggesting Barbarian might leave its stupidity at the death and transcend, was snuffed out when it doubled down on fucktardery. I hated almost everything about this film, mostly because it almost made me like it. 3/10
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