The Neon Demon (2016)

Rated 18
Amazon Prime
Spoiler Free

Nicholas Winding Refn has, much like his font, a track record of being divisive. Drive is my favourite but there’s some way too arty stinkers in his repertoire for my liking. What I do appreciate, and this is why I watch weird films with dubious reputation, is a devotion to trying things. Sometimes, that's not a good thing.

What Winding wields is style is better than his incomprehensible typeface. Better than most Directors, even, though I know cinematographers/DOPs are probably more at credit here, so props Natasha Braier for making what you could of The Neon Demon a visual treat. Hopefully, though, there were scenes when you said “and how exactly am I going to light a dead girl’s labia? Also, why am I doing this?”. Because, yeah, that’s a thing.

The Bedsit Cinema Awards WTF Moment Award ™ pretty much already has a winner. I’ll leave it at: morgue, cadaver crotch shot, snog. The very definition of challenge wank.

The Neon Demon stars Ellie Fanning and Jena Malone, both of whom I am fan of, and it is a dark, almost horror, about the fashion industry. Despite all the nice lighting (arf) and eye candy, It's fucking boring, taking ages to get anywhere. If it were a film about a bunch of ugly fat blokes (with dead dicks) I'd have stopped watching very early on and I dare say everyone would have. Which is terrifying in its own way, too.

You have to have made it there, but The Neon Demon’s third act is very weird, which doesn’t mean good, by the way. I wasted my time watching it. The whole film feels like they want you to think that you've seen something better than you have by it being so goddam obscure but actually you’ve wasted two hours of your life and the best bit of it was necrophilia. Which if I'm honest is not a desirable motive to watch films.

Bedsit it?

Not unless you're weird and have way too much spare time. 4/10 only because a lot of it is well made and I finished it.

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