In the Mood For Love (2000)

Drama/ Romance
Rated PG
Spoiler Free

Ordinarily I wouldn’t have gone to see In the Mood For Love but my mate wanted to and I wanted to see him and hey, what is there to lose other than an hour and a half of my life. With my lifestyle I probably knock that off my due date with the devil every day.

Wong Kar Wei is apparently a master, celebrated director. My pal assured me I was in for a visual treat and because I wanted to be surprised, other than a cursory IMDb look I knew little about In the Mood For Love. I hadn’t even registered it’d be subtitled until we went for a Chinese in Soho beforehand and people spoke in another language. I don't mind subtitles. Dubbed can get in the bin, it is mindbendingly distracting.

Expecting sweeping landscapes and some gushy love story, I was surprised when the film opened with a chaotic, crowded and up close curtain raiser, as two couples cram into shared accommodation. Set in the 1960’s, a married man and a married woman, whose partners we cleverly never see, move in next door to one another and a romance forms. You're supposed to assume the spouses are playing away from home, because you're supposed to assume everything with this film. It's sort of a romance. Here it comes, In the Mood For Love is 90 minutes of boredom only cine-pseuds could love.

Admittedly well shot, apart from some crap camera movement in places, nothing fucking happens in In the Mood For Love. It’s essentially a repetitive drama, with no drama, about a man who chain smokes and eats like an absolute pig and a woman who talks to him and is always carrying noodles. I’m all for sound design, but wind down the slurping; my friend said he saw me wince in one scene when the bloke loudly masticated and I’m not even a mysophobe.

I lost an hour and a half of my life, but it felt like soooo much longer. I went for a tactical piss just to text my mate and complain. I had to chain smoke 200 fags the next day just to keep up with my loss to life average. I’d have walked out but I was there with someone I love who I worried might be enjoying In the Mood For Love. I didn’t miss anything during my wee as after the start the same conversations, and music, are on repeat. Time ticked oh so slowly by as if I was in a very unpleasant ketamine binge.

Bedsit it?

No. Obviously no. When we came out my friend, to my utmost relief, said he’d given up mentally about halfway through. He’d lasted longer than me. In the Mood For Love only doesn’t get 1/10 because it was somewhat good to look at. 2/10

Oh Christ, there's so many films I hated. Check out these reviews!
THE LIGHT BETWEEN OCEANS
DUNE
MATILDA
RISE OF THE FOOTSOLDIER: ORIGINS
DEN OF THIEVES