Thunderbolts* (2025)

*The new Avengers (sure)
Action/Adventure/Superhero
Rated 12
Spoiler Free

There is a long list of things I’d watch Florence Pugh in, but a Marvel film is pretty near the bottom. The lovely, lovely bottom. Every time I think I’m Marvelled out I end up quite enjoying one of their same-y films. Thundercuntsbolts* having Pugh and David Harbour in it helped, but it was more my girlfriend who wanted to see it than me.


My girlfriend who, if reading, may still annoyed at the Florence Pugh bottom comment.


Films are often only as good as how you’re feeling when you watch them and the mood for Marvel is certainly not a cerebral one. This one is, even by its own name, the Avengers’ B-Team. Peripheral but slightly off the wall characters battle another interchangeable villain, challenging CGI and your attention.


Superhero films are to actors what Turki Al-Sheikh is to boxers, a fucking payday. Sometimes the money is well worth what it is overpaying for, but they’re queuing up like heroin addicts at Lewisham Boots for their methadone. Funny story, I once saw a queue of people waiting impatiently in Boots for their prescriptions go a bit mad when someone queue jumped for their methadone.


OK it’s not funny-funny, but sometimes an agitated addict with the shakes trumps your fungal cream. Certainly from the Pharmacist’s perspective.

I was thinking about it too after the halfway mark
Talking of a wait, at one point we paused Thunderbolts* and my thought was “fuck me is there that long still to go?”. The only reason anyone can sit through the endless amount of Marvel manifestations is that occasionally they have a sense of humour, and Thunderbolts* does try to keep it knowing but ultimately it is what it is: a far too long comic book film made for a diminishing audience.

Bedsit it?


We made it though, and it certainly isn’t as bad as it could have been/I feared, but Thunderbolts* is another example of a Marvel film where I want to write “Dear Marvel, please stop for a bit, at least until you have something good. Sure, you can recast Florence Pugh.” 5/10

More comic book film reviews? Oh go on then...

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