Elevation (2024)
The original title for this review was I Can't Recall the Name, and That’s Never a Good Sign. I had to check what Elevation is called.
Bedsit Cinema was, like most of my creativity, born out of hate. I hated something so much I did something about it. In that case “it” was Sofia Coppola’s The Beguiled and “doing something” was my being a keyboard warrior and bitching online. I still have a keyboard and whoopdefuckingdoo, something wandered into my hate sights again.
Perhaps none of this is fair*, but I’ll take a rant over a dearth of ability to write. I even bought a second keyboard, which I keep locked away because I’m a responsible keyboard owner. The people making Elevation probably didn’t set out to serve up dog shit. Or maybe they did, money talks. Everybody working in the NHS, doing their best to help you live longer or happier, would probably switch positions for that money.
Aliens get nose bleeds above 8000 feet, some kid is sick which even though it is clearly a long term illness they didn’t see coming and this forces storytelling so bad I’m gutted I’m wasting time calling it what it is. Elevation is awful and I hate everything about it because it proves that people can get obvious excrement off the ground, they just like to pretend making films is magic only Wizards can do.
If you can find a reason to like Elevation, good for you, you’re why these things exist. I hated it and there comes a point where you’ve seen enough shit to know it at first bite. I smelled rotten bowels early on, as I did with The Beguiled, and felt moved to bitch about it for no reason other than catharsis.
Hating things, loving things. Nothing in the middle. That’s why I haven’t written the 2025 Bedsit Cinema Awards, I’m not angry or enamoured enough.
*100% fair, Elevation sucks
DUNE
MATILDA
SISTER ACT
WEST SIDE STORY
FROZEN
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