Trailergeddon 3: Everyone Likes a Threeway
Although we all know trailers are evils lies. Like custard adverts, sold to us on the promise of so much joy until you invest and realise it’s just fucking custard. Where we find the happy is revelling in the intangible, happy hope. A two minute glimpse of what might be.
There is an obvious dearth of high art in these trailers, as Oscar season sits at the end of the year. Personally, I am rather excited about some of these films- Academy be damned!
Just because I thought it’d be fun, here are the films featured on Trailergeddon 2: Let’s Geddit On, alongside a brief summary of the film.
That list really does nothing for trailers does it, but that ain’t the fun of them, the fun of trailers is the trailer, and so behold- TRAILERGEDDON 3!
Guillermo del Toro writes and André Øvredal who directed the magnificent Troll Hunter, directs. Title is self explanatory, has a Children of the Corn look to it which I like.
Sam Mendes directs a WW1 action epic, it looks more like a Dunkirk style affair than traumatising Saving Private Ryan effort, but I’ll forgive that because it looks superb.
The Firefly family return! Rob Zombie’s two best films get a third instalment and it promises carnage on a terrifyingly satisfying scale.
Read about the original two films here.
The 1990’s Addams Family films are two of my all time favourites, and the first trailer for this new animated effort did not please me. It does in the longer trailer, however, look a little more offbeat than the teaser, so perhaps I’ll give it a chance. See what you think...
Hilary Swank starring, human huntin’ mayhem from the writer of Lost. It doesn’t look dull- it won't win Oscars.
One which might be after awards- if the Netflix debacle doesn't derail it, good film or not.
Martin Scorcese, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Joe Pesci and many more unite for a mafioso movie of unparalleled anticipation. Put it away mate, we’re all excited too but have some decorum.
Pedro Almodovar has never done anything for me. His films I mean. He’s also literally never done anything for me but I can’t really hold that against him. Pain and Glory has done well at the festivals but frankly I’d see It Chapter Two four times before considering this.
You might like it though!
Sequel to the really rather good Stephen King iteration, which comes carrying a horrifying almost three hour run time…
He’s back! Along with some serious looking new Terminator models, Arnie and team return for what looks as if it might actually be a decent Terminator film. They haven’t all been awful, but the Terminator series had a high benchmark to keep up to. Deadpool director Tim Miller is in the driving seat.
From Robert Eggers, director of the unique, bewildering, batshit and brilliant horror The Witch, comes a, you guessed it, unique and batshit film about a lighthouse. It sounds like there’s very little to it except for style. The style, though… Willem Dafoe and Batman star.
105 year old war veteran kicks arse. Promises blood so comprehensively it’s in the fucking title.
Yes it looks like I Robot 2, yes Will Smith is getting on everyone’s tits- but Ang Lee directs and lets face it, Gemini Man looks pretty fun.