Bitesize Bedsit: The Girl in the Spider's Web (2018)
This English language follow up to The Girl trilogy starring Claire Foy and directed by Fede Alvarez who was responsible for the excellent 2013 Evil Dead; The Girl in the Spider's Web promised so much. The original Swedish trilogy was brilliant, although did dip ever downward from the first film. David Fincher's US remake of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was a little on the nose, but not awful.
Modest hopes for this fourth story were extinguished with reasonable haste. The English language, faux Swedish accents become grating very early, and the plot unravels into sheer nonsense not long after. The Girl in the Spider's Web felt like a bad remake of the already bad Revenge, only in Revenge at least the accents were honest.
So much annoyed me about The Girl in the Spider's Web; not least because my expectations were already not that high. Despite this, it still disappointed me. I was hoping for popcorn fun, action-revenge, but if you're stuck for a brain fart film there is better fodder our there. Try Kill Bill, A Walk Among the Tombstones, John Wick or Edge of Darkness... the list goes on.
The Girl in the Spider's Web is not quite as bad as similar Scandi-knock-off The Snowman, but if you were were stuck in a room with them both you'd be hard pushed to tell their farts apart. I suppose at least it worships the time honoured cinematic trajectory of sequels getting worse and worse. 4/10